April 4, 2016 AUSTIN—In an attempt to rekindle the fading flame of her marriage, area wife Denise Shell has reportedly decided to... more
April 4, 2016 SEATTLE—After watching a series of 15 minute TED Talks, vocal Gemini Brittney Roth was reportedly eagerly awaiting an... more
April 4, 2016 BOSTON—Local Honey Bee Barry B. Benson deleted his Tinder, Bumble, and Fetlife accounts upon deciding that he was ready... more
April 4, 2016 AUSTIN—The self proclaimed “Ball Pit Baron of the South,” Donny McDonald, bellyflopped into another McDonald’s ball pit... more
April 4, 2016 San Francisco—Local buffoon father, Bob Brown, reportedly finds himself increasingly aware and terrified of the abrupt... more
April 4, 2016 LOS ANGELES— Local sources confirmed yesterday that Dave Chapman, proclaimed feminist and monthly Planned Parenthood... more
April 4, 2016 BEACON HILLS, CA—Expressing her excitement and extending her sympathy, local woman Debbie Carew was thrilled to learn... more
April 4, 2016 AUSTIN, TX – After plopping down into his 9:00 AM advertising class, sophomore Gregory Jorts noted that a mysterious... more
March 3, 2016 LOS ANGELES — Apparel and accessory superpower Ed Hardy announced this week that his new line of pre-ripped condoms... more