November 2017 WAYNE, NJ—Millennials have ruined yet another industry—the childhood industry. With the closing of over 200 stores... more
November 2017 NEW YORK—In a startling press conference last Wednesday, the National Basketball Association announced the release of... more
November 2017 AUSTIN—Austin’s Nightlife is about to improve with the opening of Van Dodder Drink Tin, a new kind of bar for... more
November 2017 LITTLE ROCK, AR—After digging for a whole five minutes near a quarry, seven-year-old boy Timothy O’Leary found a rock... more
November 2017 NORTH POLE—After Christopher Kringle gave a shocking confession that he had, in fact, murdered famed and beloved... more
November 2017 AUSTIN—After shallow internet research and ill-informed advice from his family, local filmmaker Alex Miller plans to... more
November 2017 SIX FLAGS CITY, TX—Six Flags would like to notify its customers that it will be closed until further notice due to the... more
November 2017 GALVESTON, TX—After returning from a long day out at sea with three fine bass fish, local fisherman John Sims once... more
November 2017 AUSTIN—Students from Dr. Rubowitz's Gov. 312L class reported an uptick in attendance after classmate Leon Jefferson... more
November 2017 HOUSTON—Rapper and entertainer Pitbull has officially entered NASA training with the intention of becoming an astronaut... more