What are you laughing at?
Brilliant groundhog scientists predict weather patterns for North America
PUNXSUTAWNEY- The scientific community was elated Thursday when a pair of astute groundhogs released an intensive, 20-year study of climatological patterns in North America, sources say. The two groundhogs, Dr. French Creek Freddie and Dr. Jimmy the Groundhog, emerged from their burrow for an 11 a.m. press conference with members of the national and local media. “Our findings are consistent with our hypothesis, that the casting of a shadow ensures a 65% percent chance of chillier weather for most forms of life in the Northern Hemisphere,” explained Dr.
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- Don’t worry, President Powers administered 30 lashes to that guy that missed the kick that would have won the whole stadium Chick-Fil-A.
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- A dedicated thief will steal the signs talking about the huge amount of thefts that have occurred in the PCL.
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- Urban Outfitters has announced that their plain white t shirts will be discounted to $29.99 for Black Friday sales.
- The recent box office success of the Twilight Saga once again proves teenage girls’ dominance over comic book nerds even outside of high school.
- When you leave your dorm for winter break, be sure to unplug your computer, turn off the gas, and grab your stash lest the RA pinch that shit.
- Roommate gone? Time to push the beds together!
- Sigma Chi brothers returning from winter break will not be able to understand why their house is filled with booby traps, until they realize that youngest pledge was left home alone all holiday season.
- Did you see the production of Pride and Prejudice on campus recently? We have nothing funny to say about this...it was quite good.
- Why would I buy Windows 7 when I can have Windows 98?
- We’ll take this opportunity to jinx our football team. We’re calling it: UT National Championship 2010!



