Firstly, I am deeply saddened by everything that is going on but I’m the most sad about the fact that this cannot be a movie moment for me. By not having this article published on actual paper I can’t imagine everyone that was a part of my journey these past 4 years reading this on campus at weirdly the same time and smiling to themselves while “Don’t You Forget About Me” plays softly in the background as I charmingly narrate. This actually does seem like the end of a movie to me though (of hopefully an annoyingly long 8 part series) that started as a quirky romcom (minus the rom) and now has a horror movie twist ending (read: the virus). Secondly, I am so excited to be the First Woman Associate Editor of The Texas Travesty That Hopes to Keep Pursuing Comedy With Also No Idea What She Is Going to Do After This Due to The Pandemic. It is a special title to hold and one I do NOT take for granted.
Things I’m going to miss terribly (besides literally everything):
- Not saying a single word in the writing room besides my headlines for an entire year due to intimidation and then gaining confidence the next year and truly not shutting the fuck up since
- Sundays when we would all come in during deadline weekend after our Saturday Travesty Party the night before with shifty eyes, embarrassment of our drunken actions, and bond over our hangovers
- The many times Eileen and I would start hysterically laughing till we cried at ultimately not funny things, and everyone in the room firstly being amused and then quickly shifting to wanting to murder us and our families in cold blood
- The fact that we made an actual paper that some people read kind of and some people would give back to us “for the environment” – that is important
- Everyone in this group, they’re all so funny and charming that any time two people in this organization are having a conversation, it’s easy to mistake both people for having sexual chemistry
- How I’ve lied to my grandparents for two years now and told them that I wrote for the Daily Texan and actually have just been writing articles making fun of pro-lifers. Yas queen!
- Looking up different politicians I didn’t know to see both their height and if they were hot when they were younger and asking the room at large what they thought instead of writing one single joke during deadline weekend
- To my mentees (the girls who are one to two years younger than me and who I have now dedicated my life to being their mentor by being loud, obnoxious, and older than them), you’re all so funny, the future of comedy, girl squad gang goals, etc. I miss you all terribly already and am so glad that Travesty has y’all. Fareena, Celeste, Lulu, Julia, Virginia, Jules, Eileen – you guys hold a special place in my heart forever, get used to it!
- Now can we talk about the men FOR ONCE? Ben, Arvind, Max, Will, Nico, Jack Squared, Kevin, Julio – incredibly funny people who I already miss and also showed me that ……maybe NOT *all* men? Good job! (I’m a “pick me” girl now)
- Distribution days where people have 1) threatened to fight us 2) come up to tell us “funny” stories to consider for the Travesty. I felt actually high on how much fun I had with you guys distributing.
- The one time during distribution when a girl said “No thank you, I’m Jewish” thinking we were a Christian newspaper and Lulu said “I’m Jewish too, it’s okay.”
- My dear friends who basically thought Travesty was made up because I kept talking about it and the people and how great it was yet they never met them – what a fun and glorious secret life this was.
But more than anything, I’ll miss the community and laughter I had with this group and how at home they made me feel at UT. I’m vomiting and having an exorcism as I type this. Much love.
Sincerely but only kind of,