The Texas Travesty attended nearly all stand-up comedy shows this SXSW, and it was a waste of time. Your broke ass didn’t have a badge, and that’s fine. We asked AI to combine every stand-up bit into one special so you can spend time doing what really matters: being on your phone!*
Comedian: Hello, how is everyone doing tonight
Crowd cheers
Comedian: Come on, I know you guys can do better than that here in [insert city name].
Crowd cheers louder
Comedian: You know, I’ve been trying to work on myself. I’ve been going to therapy.
Women say I’m emotionally unavailable, but I am just here for the sex. Do you guys know that feeling?
Crowd groans enthusiastically
Comedian: Insert 20-25 minutes of observational crowd work
Crowd laughs
Comedian: You guys have been great, thank you!
*No AI was actually used in this because that would be lame. Instead, I spent two hours writing it. Please don’t tell me that the AI version would have been funnier.