All anyone can talk about in quarantine is hobbies — and the most shudder inducing so far has been people getting really into baking bread. Is it the 1800’s? In many ways actually, yes (with the whole plague and all) — but still. I have decided to make better use of my time: watching a single, feature-length movie till the end. It takes the same amount of time and demands the same amount of effort! First, I have to sit down and watch 35 minutes of the film, only for my roommate to pause the movie to go to the bathroom, at which point I realize that the movie has only been playing for 9 minutes. Is this that “movie magic” people talk about? Then, my roommate comes back and presses play and I get a notification on my phone. In times like this, that notification could be important. Like my crush liking my “photo dump from pre-quar” Instagram post or Facebook saying “You have memories to look back on,” reminding me of a distant time when memories could be made. I simply have to check it! An hour passes and inevitably me and my roommate both realize we haven’t paid enough attention to the plot because our brains have withered away to the point where we can only process Love Island. This pattern repeats for 4 days until finally on day 4 we have reached the end of the movie! Woah! The ending was underwhelming and I realize the movie wasn’t actually good but we applaud ourselves anyways. This was a huge accomplishment and people actually should be on their balconies clapping for US! Bread bakers of course get a successful snack at the end of their hobby but I on the other hand get to ask other people if they’ve seen this movie and judge them if they haven’t for all eternity. Even more fulfilling!