WE’RE SEEING NEW HISTORICAL PRECEDENTS EVERYDAY. BUT THERE’S ONE REMARKABLE OPPORTUNITY STARING US IN THE FACE: NEVER HAS THERE BEEN A BETTER TIME TO TRIP ACID. UNSURE WHERE YOU STAND IN THESE TRYING TIMES? THEN YOU’VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE. FAST-TRACK YOUR INTROSPECTIVE SUCCESS AND OPEN YOUR MIND TO HORIZONS YOU WOULD HAVE PREVIOUSLY NEVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE. IT’S THE THIRD-EYE-OPENING CHANCE YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED. AND LET’S BE REAL: IT’S NOT LIKE ANY AMUSEMENT PARKS ARE OPEN RIGHT NOW. WHAT ELSE ARE WE EXPECTED TO DO? WHETHER YOU’RE UNEMPLOYED, BORED, OR JUST PLAIN OL’ DEPRESSED, ENTERING ANOTHER DIMENSION HAS GOT TO BE VASTLY PREFERABLE TO STAYING IN THIS PIDDLY PLAIN JANE REALITY. THERE’S VIRTUALLY NO DOWNSIDES. ANYONE WHO SCARES YOU OFF OF LSD IS JUST SCARED OF YOU SEEING THE TRUTH. SURE, PEOPLE WARN YOU ABOUT GNARLY SIDE EFFECTS, BUT THOSE ARE EXTREMELY RARE. PERSONALLY I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING GO WRONG ON A TRIP, UNLESS YOU COUNT REVOLUTIONIZING YOUR ENTIRE WORLDVIEW AS ‘WRONG’. I WON’T LIE, THERE IS A TEENSY CHANCE THINGS MIGHT GO OFF THE RAILS. BUT YOU SEEM LIKE A COOL GUY, AND UNLIKE MY BUDDY, I’M SURE YOU WON’T HAVE A BAD TRIP AND HAVE TO CALL YOUR MOM WHILE EN ROUTE TO THE HOSPITAL. ADMITTEDLY, HE HAD PRETTY BAD VIBES GOING INTO THE TRIP. SO REALLY, THAT’S ON HIM.