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Texas Travesty

Since 1997

Critics are raving and club owners are telling them to get the fuck out

October 31, 2019 by Texas Travesty

AUSTIN – Things started to get a little hairy on 6th Street when a group of “local film critics” hit the streets after taking in a midnight premiere of The Joker. “I haven’t seen pretentiousness move together in a herd like that since the podcasters got together at SXSW” said stunned club owner, Vincent van Hauser, while sweeping up broken glass. There were multiple reports of the raving group agreeing that they were misunderstood and calling for what they claimed would be an “epic” sequel. “Those assholes in cargo shorts just wouldn’t get off my damn stairs,” said bartender Max Stevenson. At press time, the self-proclaimed critics were masturbating vigorously in their parents’ basements.

Filed Under: News

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