• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Join
  • Issue Archive
  • Donate
  • Housing Guide
  • Goodbye Columns

Texas Travesty

Since 1997

Critics are raving and club owners are telling them to get the fuck out

October 31, 2019 by Texas Travesty

AUSTIN – Things started to get a little hairy on 6th Street when a group of “local film critics” hit the streets after taking in a midnight premiere of The Joker. “I haven’t seen pretentiousness move together in a herd like that since the podcasters got together at SXSW” said stunned club owner, Vincent van Hauser, while sweeping up broken glass. There were multiple reports of the raving group agreeing that they were misunderstood and calling for what they claimed would be an “epic” sequel. “Those assholes in cargo shorts just wouldn’t get off my damn stairs,” said bartender Max Stevenson. At press time, the self-proclaimed critics were masturbating vigorously in their parents’ basements.

Filed Under: News

Primary Sidebar

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Recent Posts

  • The Texas Travesty — November 2025
  • The Texas Travesty — October 2025
  • The Texas Travesty — September 2025
  • The Entire Plot of Together (2025) featuring Allison Brie and Dave Franco as Told by a Six-year-old
  • The Texas Travesty — April 2025

Copyright © 2026 · Magazine Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

Give to the Texas Student Media Excellence Fund by clicking here, and your donation will be matched!

Support hands-on experiences such as Texas Travesty for generations to come.