• Reese Witherspoon’s surprisingly not racist, but I’m ready to let her go when the time comes
• Is Spike Lee the guy who started SpikeTV?
• I’m a pro-semite
• Oh shit, word?
• I only speak in dependent clauses
• Yorgos is a better yogurt name than a director name
• The Cold War honestly had a lot of sexual tension
• How heavy do you think a minion would be?
• It’s a fact that all of the Supreme Court has diabetes
• The toy industry really wanted all of us to be architects
• White people are the fabric of the Harvard Lampoon
• I mean why not just have mandatory circumcision?
• The New Deal slaps
• Darius Rucker making country music is cultural appropriation
• Nietzche is pronounced like Mitski
• I have a hell of a Facebook post loaded up for when Michael J. Fox dies
• You hear about this Israel-Palestine shit?
• Let’s eat at that place on Guad called ‘For Lease’
• Cory Booker just announced his sponsorship with Tech Deck
• Her new boyfriend is built like a bionicle
• It’s incredible how successful Kevin Hart is considering he’s 13-years-old
• Yeah, I’ll hang out with you later, I just have to go charge my phone at home first