WEST CAMPUS — McCombs student Tyler Schwartz blames the B+ he received on his Microeconomics professor’s slightly foreign accent. Schwartz, a freshman, was shocked this past Thursday when his first Intro to Microeconomics exam was passed back in class. Schwartz, having been referred to as a “naturally gifted” student since the age of 5 by his mom Jill, was expecting nothing less than an A on his exam. “I just don’t get it,” Schwartz explained, in the middle of ripping his Illadelph, “I go to class. I do my homework. Isn’t that enough?” When asked if there was anything that could’ve gotten in the way of acing the exam, Schwartz responded, “I guess my professor kind of has an accent, which definitely gets in the way of my ability to comprehend the material. It’s so unfair!” When asked if his parents were disappointed, he answered, “Grading is way more subjective* when your professor speaks broken English. I mean, I’m not being racist or anything, but if my professor was American, I know I’d get the A. My dad understands that.” At press time, Schwartz’s mother had reportedly left 5 voicemails for the professor in question.
*NOTE: Schwartz’s exam was graded by a Scantron machine.