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Report: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is the little sister of Carmen Cortez from “Spy Kids”

May 22, 2019 by travesty Leave a Comment

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Carmen Cortez

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Beautiful. Bold. Fearless. Admirable. These are all words that are immediately associated with Carmen Cortez from the Spy Kids franchise. She never backs down from a fight all while making sure Juni, who has the capabilities of a thumb-thumb, keeps his shit together. So finding out that the proactive and powerful Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is also her little sister honestly just makes a lot of sense. “It’s so cool that we both work in government now. I mean, with me fighting bad guys in the OSS and Alex fighting even more terrible guys in Congress it makes for such great conversation at the dinner table,” said Carmen, talking to the Travesty from her vacation in D.C., which she took to visit Alexandria. “I’m not gonna lie, I don’t use gadgets, but I’ve been tempted to ask Carmen for that thing that lets you morph into any person into a Floop’s Fooglie, like imagine how cool that’d be…but I guess most people on the Hill look like that anyway,” said Alexandria, speaking on a Facebook livestream while cooking up some Velveeta shells and cheese. At press time, Alexandria was seen preparing for another verbal assassination and waving to Carmen as she flew away using Emily Osment’s pigtails. 

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