SUBURBIA – After finally putting her three gorgeous children Kennedy, Chelsea, and Daniel to bed, mother Terri Joan didn’t need to check the time to know it was Wine O’clock! She had already popped one Xanax before picking up the kids from school, but now she could finally reach the ultimate state of relaxation: an acceptable, slightly-slurring drunkenness after one “doctor recommended” glass of red wine. Terri hopped on Facebook to get her hourly dose of hilarious wine mom memes, including “If you combine wine and dinner, the new word is WINNER,” and “A mother’s sacrifice isn’t giving birth…it’s 9 months without wine!” She hurriedly shared them to her page with only the crying laughing emoji as a caption, adequately explaining the hilarity that’s gripped her. Then tragedy struck: Terri scrolled past an inevitably misogynistic post from 2012 that said “Women belong in the House and Senate? More like women belong in the kitchen!” In a stroke of feminist ingeniunity that Terri hadn’t felt since making a sign that said “Pussy Grabs BACK!” at the 2016 Women’s March, she commented, “A woman’s place IS in the kitchen…..to get more wine!” She then laughed deliriously at her relatable burn. At press time, her children were reported to have drifted off into a calm, delicate sleep after being comforted by the fact that their mom had consumed her happy juice.