AUSTIN — With all of the craziness surrounding the 2020 election (for example: what *is* Ukraine?), there’s more uncertainty than ever as to who will be our next president. While the democratic field is oversaturated, the GOP is lacking in competition for Trump. In fact, I don’t think any Republican can beat Trump in the primaries – except for my dad. I know what you’re thinking: “We don’t need another entitled white guy in the Oval Office.” But I’m here to tell you not to worry! My dad is fiscally conservative but socially liberal (I don’t know what any of that means). He looooooves to talk about money and how people are too lazy to work so he shouldn’t have to pay taxes, but he also bought me an amazing apartment, so I think he’ll do the right thing on Medicare. He thinks America is the greatest place like, ever, and is also totally fine with gay people, as long as they keep it to themselves. Move over, Mitt Romney – my dad’s got this.