Look, I’m horny. There, I said it! Social distancing and quarantining at home have taken huge tolls on my mental, physical, and sexual well-being. I might be the only person in the entire world going through this. Or at least, the only one brave enough to talk about it openly. If anyone else is going through this, let me tell you, you’re not alone! Living at home for the first … [Read more...] about Coronavirus isn’t as toxic as your ex — for instance, corona can finish you off
Op-eds
Opinion: Mario and Luigi are actually 12 years old, step brothers, and hate doing chores
Uh oh! They’re back at it again! These two Nintenbros don’t have the same parents! What?! But, they are sharing a bunk bed under the same roof? How does that work? This may come as a surprise, as we have been conditioned to think that these midlife handymen are settled into their lives of being married to princesses and unclogging toilets, but Mario and Luigi are more concerned … [Read more...] about Opinion: Mario and Luigi are actually 12 years old, step brothers, and hate doing chores
Opinion: Why #babynut made me a pro-lifer
Where were you when Mr. Peanut died? On the phone? On the toilet? In the shower? I was a pro-choicer at that time, so death meant nothing to me (by the way, I was chowing down on a snack). It was not his death that impacted me most, but his resurrection. The way it mirrored the resurrection of Jesus Christ triggered a passion I thought was far gone. From spud to full nut, he … [Read more...] about Opinion: Why #babynut made me a pro-lifer
Op-ed: If Rihanna isn’t pregnant then she is just getting fat shamed
Recently published photos of the 31-year old superstar Robyn Rihanna Fenty with a noticeable little tum-tum have led to harmful comments and assumptions flying through the Twitterverse. Even if Rihanna is pregnant, you aren’t supposed to ask or assume that a woman is pregnant until she has added a baby emoji with a due date to her bios on all social media platforms. Common … [Read more...] about Op-ed: If Rihanna isn’t pregnant then she is just getting fat shamed
Op-Ed: You can’t be a feminist unless you’re my boyfriend
Men are constantly reaching out to me, asking me how to best be an ally to women. They’re calling me, emailing me, even showing up when I perform my standup routine alone in my room. While this sentiment is nice and very much appreciated, my answer to them is always the same: date me! This may seem silly and reductive, but my reasoning is actually really simple: you can't be a … [Read more...] about Op-Ed: You can’t be a feminist unless you’re my boyfriend