Some are going to say that the above title is too ‘dramatic’ and ‘insensitive’ given that I’m simply leaving a campus satirical magazine and not killing myself.
But I will counter: you really have neither a life, nor voice, nor worth if you no longer write for your state school’s satirical magazine.
When I was nineteen, I joined the Travesty. Louis C.K. was my favorite comedian, I exclusively drank 40s, I didn’t know what a semi-colon was, and my favorite piece of satirical literature was The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.
Now, at twenty-two, I hate all comedians, I drink various juices, I’m a “published” writer, and my favorite satirical work is the District 9.pdf. Prawn people, crazy! Maybe I’ll get around to seeing the movie.
When I was first interviewed by the Travesty, I was asked if one of my friends (who was also applying) had any weaknesses. I said he had clammy hands.
They then told me they asked my friend the same question but about me. My friend said I had none.
We’re no longer friends for other reasons, but you get the point. Throughout my tenure at the Texas Travesty, I have changed.
I’ve gone through a lot with this staff. Most notably:
My gout scare of 2019
The jury is still out on whether or not I actually have gout, but my fellow writers cracked jokes and told me I was crazy for even thinking I would have gout! It really made me forget about the whole ordeal. Laughter truly is the best medicine.
That time I had an earring
Wasn’t for me.
Someone thought it would be funny to order the Eucharist off of Amazon Prime, bring it to a deadline party, and administer it to anyone who wanted it. I pretended it was indeed funny, but then went home and cried my eyes out.
The Rise and Fall of Beto O’Rourke
He personally called me the other day and asked for me to phone bank for some random shit again.
My sixth street hand injury
Pushing a cactus off of a crowded stage doesn’t give you as much material as you think it would.
And my first experience of getting drunk with power
Nothing beats the rush of judging other people’s work.
And throughout all of this, and the rest of the usual college bullshit, I’m glad I had the Travesty. Not only as a creative outlet, but as a set of collaborators, jokesters, and most importantly, trusted friends.
I just want the current staff and everyone that I’ve worked with that is graduating to know a couple of things:
- Every joke that I pitched that no one laughed at was an ironic bit and you should know that
- I am a lover and a fighter
- Although we all got into this magazine to write comedy, I sincerely think we are an incubator for some of the brightest minds this campus has to offer. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the people I met in that room go on to be the next generation of trailblazing doctors, politicians, or attorneys
But jokes aside, I don’t know if I’m any better a writer or person than I was 3 years ago. The Travesty really made me believe so though, on both accounts. I did enjoy the time I spent with these people, and it’s been a real pleasure.
I’ve loved to get to know everyone on board and dissect why their style is their style. A lot of people on this staff have problems. But that’s okay. I’m pretty sure there’s a dumbass Steve Jobs quote that says something like “All great people are crazy.”
But anyway, I really love these people. I wish those that are leaving like myself the best in their personal and professional ventures, and those that are staying to have cold, miserable lives so that the comedy will flow easier.
The magazine is being left in great hands, good luck!