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Texas Travesty

Since 1997

Opinion: Mario and Luigi are actually 12 years old, step brothers, and hate doing chores

February 12, 2020 by Texas Travesty

mario and luigi as children embracing

Uh oh! They’re back at it again! These two Nintenbros don’t have the same parents! What?! But, they are sharing a bunk bed under the same roof? How does that work? This may come as a surprise, as we have been conditioned to think that these midlife handymen are settled into their lives of being married to princesses and unclogging toilets, but Mario and Luigi are more concerned with getting to the bus stop on time! 

With the nonsense the two boys have gotten into over the 6 months since Mario’s mother married Luigi’s father, the newlyweds have had quite the challenge on their hands. Mario begins every morning with two slabs of peanut butter, one for his breakfast and one for Luigi’s face! Ha! Unfortunately, this usually results in Mario being forced to clean the cat’s litter box, which he just flushes down the toilet. Luigi, being the annoying little brother he is (younger by only 5 weeks), tattled on Mario, and his new step dad had to give Mario his first lesson on plumbing.

However, the two post-pubescent 6th graders don’t have their eyes set on a career in artisanship. After receiving all good marks on his pre-algebra tests, Luigi has his eyes set on a college degree in Mechanical Engineering, while Mario still wants to be a chef, which makes sense with all the mischief he’s been cooking up! No matter what these two rascals end up pursuing, they’ve vowed to each other that they will share a room, baseball mitt, and their no vegetables pledge forever!

Filed Under: Op-eds

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