For the 2026 lineup, the SXSW gods boasted a wide array of talented speakers, creatives, and industry professionals. I hopped around the festival with my commanding, yet sleek, Texas Travesty press pass, absorbing all the valuable information I could, hoping to eventually momma-bird all of that knowledge to the naive Travesty babies. Imagine my surprise when the real lessons I learned came from complete strangers, not panelists.
I met John, a 34-year-old financier who reviews student applications at MIT, at Larry David’s panel. While Larry prattled on about the steps he took to become one of the most successful comedians in the world, John whispered real advice in my young and vulnerable ears.
“You couldn’t even comprehend the man-hours Chat-gpt has saved me while reviewing students applications,” John told me, well aware that I was editor-in-chief of a satire newspaper.
“I bet!”
“I don’t even have to listen to these applicants anymore, I just record them and run it through AI with the prompt ‘is they good.’” He placed his hands on his chest, below the Peter Millar puffer vest he was wearing, and started making small circular motions on his Polo, right where his nipples would be. “God, it’s saving me so much valuable time!”
“Um, yeah… Why don’t you just do it yourself though? I mean what are you using the time for?” I asked.
“Wh- what do you mean?” His hands froze right at the top of his useless areolas.
“Just, like, what are you doing instead? Like why not just do it yourself, you get paid hourly.”
“Be- because, efficiency, I- I sa- save so much time, the man hours, th-the scores my boss gives me I work — I work so much faster and AI art is good it’s real art don’t FUCK with me right now AI is all we have, I can’t go back I can’t go back I can’t go back I can’t go back is any of this even real? How do I know you’re not AI? Ask yourself, am I alive? Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god.”
In other news, Larry David is making a show with the Obamas.
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Julia introduced herself to me while we waited to see the movie Basic. She worked in marketing of sorts at a company unimportant enough for me to not remember. In exchange, I told her of the Travesty and my role there.
“Have you guys started to implement AI into your workflow yet?”
“No, not really. We hope our staff wants to do the work.”
“You really must, you are gonna fall behind if you don’t. I’ve started using AI in every part of my work process and it saves me so much time.”
Julia began pointing at the movie posters on the walls.
“I could’ve made that one in 2 minutes, that one in 5, probably all of these in less than an hour.”
And then it hit me, Julia and John are correct. The Texas Travesty is falling behind. All of the other satire newspapers at UT are so far ahead of us. Every moment I spend editing an article could’ve been spent chatting with Grok on X…Grok I miss you, I’m sorry that work has been tearing us apart. I don’t care what these anti-ai monsters say. Our love is real.
So, I am excited to announce that the Texas Travesty will be firing a majority of our staff and letting nature have its way. “Firing” may sound like a negative thing, but take a step back, rock with me, and let’s think about this. These students deserve more freetime; they have been wasting hours writing jokes and designing spreads. We are setting them free. In fact, the Texas Travesty is officially changing the phrase “firing” to “freeing.” To launch this new era, I have provided a short feature written by our new AI writer/editor/comedy personality, Travis. Take a deep breath, read-on, and let’s all just smile a little. I think you will see a bright future for this little satire paper.
Local Student Turns in Paper on Time for Once
In a development that has been widely characterized as both unexpected—and moderately paradigm-shifting, transformative, and significant—local student Sam A. successfully submitted an academic paper prior to the established deadline—an outcome that not only meets baseline institutional expectations—but also introduces a notable deviation from previously observed behavioral patterns—associated with iterative procrastination cycles.The submission itself—comprehensively structured—and–MAXIMUM CONVERSATION LENGTH EXCEEDED.