ORLANDO — After riding a rollercoaster, shaken and stirred mother Sheila Scanlon started fizzing out milk as she breastfed her son. “As soon as I latched on to her nipple, I got all this bubbly milk that came out. It sprayed all over my face and onto the ground,” said her 360-month old child, Gordon Scanlon. “I know I should have waited for her to settle down, but I am constantly in a state of starvation since the only thing I consume is her breast milk.” While Gordon had always wanted a more carbonated option, he also said he can not afford to lose any breast milk, because he is a grown man who only has 1 liter of sustenance a day. As of press time, Gordon was seen suing the amusement park for damages and trying to get a new, unfizzy mother.