Okay, so you spent your whole weekend growing yeast and collecting dough from the dough bushes you grew on your porch or wherever the fuck that comes from, all for some measly, seedy loaf? Bonkers, I say. Why the hell would you go to all that trouble when you can simply get bread at a supermarket? Ever been to one? It even comes in cool shapes like circles. But this bread is made by professionals, not your average milquetoast millennial who thinks natural juice cleanses are a way of life. Yeah, that’s right hipsters. You didn’t impress me, in fact, your feeble attempt at DIY Dumbassery actually pisses me off. Sorry if this article de-flours your ambitions, or makes you feel uncool. Just thought you should see what you look like to everyone else when you proudly Instagram that cronenberg-esque monstrosity in your oven.