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Texas Travesty

Since 1997

If Bernie wins life will instantly get better, but I won’t get any hotter

February 12, 2020 by travesty

girl at bernie rally

UT—Like so many young and #hot people, I am looking forward to casting a vote for Bernie Sanders for President. Even better, as an American Jew I am excited to see myself represented by someone who isn’t Woody Allen or Alan Dershowitz. Bernie’s policies will take the country very far and make healthcare and education accessible to all, which is the hottest thing anyone can do. He gives me, and millions of other people, hope for a better, hotter America. Basically, if Bernie wins, life will instantly get better. There is only one drawback to the grassroots campaign: I won’t get any hotter if Bernie is elected President. If I wake up on November 4th to a President Sanders, I will still have physical flaws and have to use humor to deflect. Even though student debt will be cancelled, my face will still fucking look like this. 

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