DALLAS, TX—Early Saturday morning, experienced forex trader Candace Bronx direct messaged Dallas Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott inquiring if he would be interested in joining her team and “turning his dreams into a lifestyle.” Anyone who trades in the foreign market is technically a forex trader; however when an experienced forex trader like Bronx asks you to join her team, … [Read more...] about Forex trader unable to understand what’s keeping Dak Prescott from taking the first step
The Texas Travesty – September 2020
It's a confusing time to be a college student, and that's why The Texas Travesty is here to help you make sense of it all. Read our September 2020 issue, "Higher Education in Self-Isolation," and feel your problems start drift away... … [Read more...] about The Texas Travesty – September 2020
Goodbye World
Some are going to say that the above title is too ‘dramatic’ and ‘insensitive’ given that I’m simply leaving a campus satirical magazine and not killing myself. But I will counter: you really have neither a life, nor voice, nor worth if you no longer write for your state school’s satirical magazine. When I was nineteen, I joined the Travesty. Louis C.K. was my … [Read more...] about Goodbye World
The Travesty “apologizes” for taking Payroll Protection Program loan
We, the Texas Travesty, must come clean. Like fellow small businesses Harvard University and the Los Angeles Lakers, The Travesty applied and received a loan of $500,000 from the payroll protection program in order to funnel money to our legal counsel and former associate editor, Aakash “Michael Cohen” Saraiya. While we understand our readers may be upset at this admission, let … [Read more...] about The Travesty “apologizes” for taking Payroll Protection Program loan
The Future of My Family
I have seven siblings and I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m close to any of them. I do care about them though, and have followed their lives with quite some interest. I’ve given them almost little to no advice, preferring more close observation. I have been able to do this from afar or undetected for quite some time. But because of our return to living together in quarantine, … [Read more...] about The Future of My Family