AUSTIN — Mark Scott, previously only known for having two first names, is making headlines today with his newfound solution to his fear of missing out, or FOMO as the millennials call it. His breakthrough? Not getting invited. It’s that simple. “It came to me one day when I found out my coworkers went bowling without me. I realized that I didn’t have to worry about missing out on the inside jokes and fun hijinks the gang got into because there was no way they would have invited me in the first place. And there’s some sort of catharsis in that,” Scott said, trying to convince himself he really wasn’t sad. At press time, Scott was found updating his Instagram feed and passive-aggressively commenting on event photos of groups he felt he should have been included in.
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