AUSTIN — Austin father Lionel McCombs was absolutely devastated after a recent realization that his daughter can’t pull off her nose ring. “It’s a father’s second worst nightmare: not only that my kid is edgy, but they’re also really bad at being edgy.” When probed about what a father’s first worst nightmare is, McCombs replied, “Having their child grow up to marry a Ryan Seacrest-type.” McCombs reportedly hasn’t told his daughter about his true feelings towards her newest accessory, and he doesn’t plan on it. “Why let her know? Parents aren’t meant to be realistic. We’re here to give our unconditional support no matter what. So when our kids grow up and their dreams get crushed or they’ve wasted their time on something ridiculous, we still look like the good guys.” At press time, McCombs’s daughter had a new belly ring that McCombs also refrained from commenting on.
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