LOS ANGELES — According to a stunning exposé by The Earthly Enquirer that shocked no one, political firebrand and perennial weirdo Ben Shapiro was revealed to have an interesting array of kinks… and boy are they doozies! The source (a jaded ex-lover who wishes to remain anonymous) has been verified and is believed to be credible. “One of his favorites was having me whisper sweet nothings that ended with prepositions into his ear while he buffed his bishop. He said bad grammar made me a naughty girl, and that he loved to ‘educate’ naughty girls,” said the source. The statement seems to corroborate earlier claims made by a now-fired The Daily Wire employee, who alleged that Shapiro would salaciously call his wife into his office for a ‘lesson’ after she sent him texts containing grammatical errors. “Whenever she really wanted to make Ben purr she’d pretend to be a helpless little liberal as he dominated her… in a debate. She liked to mention the fact that he went to Harvard at 19 – that really gets him going.” The source goes on to detail more kinks, among them being an affinity for feet and something involving a violin bow that cannot be printed given the Travesty’s content policy. At press time, Shapiro had not returned requests for comment, and the amount of taunting remarks on all of his social media accounts is growing by the dozens.