Some are going to say that the above title is too ‘dramatic’ and ‘insensitive’ given that I’m simply leaving a campus satirical magazine and not killing myself. But I will counter: you really have neither a life, nor voice, nor worth if you no longer write for your state school’s satirical magazine. When I was nineteen, I joined the Travesty. Louis C.K. was my … [Read more...] about Goodbye World
Archives for May 2020
The Travesty “apologizes” for taking Payroll Protection Program loan
We, the Texas Travesty, must come clean. Like fellow small businesses Harvard University and the Los Angeles Lakers, The Travesty applied and received a loan of $500,000 from the payroll protection program in order to funnel money to our legal counsel and former associate editor, Aakash “Michael Cohen” Saraiya. While we understand our readers may be upset at this admission, let … [Read more...] about The Travesty “apologizes” for taking Payroll Protection Program loan
The Future of My Family
I have seven siblings and I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m close to any of them. I do care about them though, and have followed their lives with quite some interest. I’ve given them almost little to no advice, preferring more close observation. I have been able to do this from afar or undetected for quite some time. But because of our return to living together in quarantine, … [Read more...] about The Future of My Family
Why watching a single, feature-length movie is my version of getting into baking bread
All anyone can talk about in quarantine is hobbies—and the most shudder inducing so far has been people getting really into baking bread. Is it the 1800’s? In many ways actually, yes (with the whole plague and all)—but still. I have decided to make better use of my time: watching a single, feature-length movie till the end. It takes the same amount of time and demands the same … [Read more...] about Why watching a single, feature-length movie is my version of getting into baking bread
A LITTLE LSD NEVER HURT ANYBODY, EXCEPT MY FRIEND THAT ONE TIME
WE’RE SEEING NEW HISTORICAL PRECEDENTS EVERYDAY. BUT THERE’S ONE REMARKABLE OPPORTUNITY STARING US IN THE FACE: NEVER HAS THERE BEEN A BETTER TIME TO TRIP ACID. UNSURE WHERE YOU STAND IN THESE TRYING TIMES? THEN YOU’VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE. FAST-TRACK YOUR INTROSPECTIVE SUCCESS AND OPEN YOUR MIND TO HORIZONS YOU WOULD HAVE PREVIOUSLY NEVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE. IT’S THE … [Read more...] about A LITTLE LSD NEVER HURT ANYBODY, EXCEPT MY FRIEND THAT ONE TIME