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Disgruntled cyclops not impressed with 3-D movie

NEW YORK– Frequent movie patron and one-eyed colossal man-creature Zorock left the Metropolitan 16 movie theater Sunday night disgruntled after seeing the sub-par visual effects in ‘The Final Destination 3D.’ “Besides giving me a headache, I really didn’t see the point of making the screen blurry,” said Zorock as he dropped 15 bottles of Visine into his one huge eye.

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Local boy discovers fun, swirly water ride for goldfish

AUSTIN—After realizing that the tank his mother bought for his new pet goldfish, Goldy, was too small for a fish to have any real fun in, six-year old Louis Wagner decided to put the fish in a super-exciting, swirly-splashy water ride he discovered in his parent’s bathroom. “Goldy doesn’t like it in that little tank,” said Wagner as he carried his favorite pet in a net towards the porcelain whirlpool.

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