CAMPUS—Jeffrey Houser, a management student who delights his mommy and daddy by making good grades, impressed all those around him as he strode confidently down 21st Street last Tuesday, chest high in the air and cute as a button dressed in his special big-boy suit.

“The hardest part was the tie,” said the charming young man as he nervously clutched the most adorable little briefcase you ever did see. “But then I found out that you can buy a tie that clips onto your shirt and looks just like a real one.”

“Now I’m a big boy too,” added Houser.

Occasioning Houser’s big-boy attire was a presentation on marketing strategies, in which the precious little cutie pie planned to impress his classmates as much as possible with all of the new and exciting information he had learned from school.

“Seeing a student of mine in a suit that adorable always touches my heart,” said Professor Ronald McGowen as he tried to hide the tears gathering in his eyes. “But when he started going on about how he packed his briefcase all by himself without even forgetting his number two pencils, I almost lost it completely.”

“It was just too cute for one man to handle,” added McGowen.

The suit rendered Houser’s hands invisible due to the adorably oversized length and garnered groans of unabashed adoration from the class, overshadowing the bubbling young man’s presentation. Houser also nearly tripped over his slightly-oversized shoes during the presentation, although nobody faulted Houser for this, since no flaws could ever be found in such a pure display of delight.

“We require all of the perfect little angels in our business school to wear suits,” stated Dean of McCombs Business School Thomas W. Gilligan. “It’s what employers are really looking for.”

“I should know,” added Gilligan. “I used to be an employer.”

After the presentation, Houser explained to reporters how he refers to his suit as his “armor,” which protects him against “big, scary teachers” and “mock interviews”, giving him that extra boost of confidence he needs to make it in “the big-boy world.”

“Oh, that sounds like our little Jeffrey all right,” said Mary Houser, mother of the young man, when she was asked about the particularity of her son’s special attire.
“Whether he’s dressing up as a big business boy or a fuzzy little bunny rabbit, Jeffrey loves to play dress-up.”

Houser’s parents are brimming with excitement for their little pumpkin, and explained that while they will miss him when he grows up and has to make big-boy decisions all by himself, they know that he will always make mommy and daddy proud.

As of press time, Jeffrey Houser was found in the Perry-Castañeda library, furrowing his brows trying to turn on his calculator so he could complete a problem in his Economics homework.