Inexperienced bachelor Gilbert forced to fill-in

AUSTIN—University of Texas quarterback Colt McCoy sustained his second shoulder injury in as many weeks while in the midst of proposing to his long-time girlfriend Rachel Glandorf at DKR Memorial Stadium last Monday.

McCoy, who hurt his shoulder during Texas’ loss to Alabama in the BCS National Championship game, suffered a similar injury while extending the ring towards Glandorf at the beginning of his proposal.

“It’s hard to express the disappointment I feel,” said McCoy, who was rushed to the locker room immediately after going down. “Asking her to marry me has been one of the biggest moments of my life. We had been dating for years, and it had all led up to that moment, but as I knelt down to pop the question I over-extended my shoulder while reaching for the ring.”

“It was a routine reach into my pocket,” added McCoy. “But I’ll never get that chance back.”

UT freshman quarterback Garrett Gilbert happened to be wandering the concourse at DKR Memorial Stadium when he saw McCoy succumb to injury. “I saw that Colt wouldn’t be able to complete his proposal, and there was no one else around, so I tried to embrace the moment and fill in as best as I could,” said Gilbert.

While Gilbert had previously never met Glandorf and had no prior marriage-proposal experience, he stepped up to the momentous challenge, grabbed the ring from Colt, and knelt in front of her.

The freshman quarterback was visibly shaken as he started the proposal and was unable to put together even basic sentences. “He began by asking me, ‘Rachel, are I you me marry, yes?’” said Glandorf. “It was pretty clear he had no idea what he was doing.”

“At one point he just dropped the ring on the field,” added Glandorf. “I know he’s a bachelor, but he’s probably going to be proposing to somebody in a couple of years. How was he so unprepared for this moment?”

Despite strong resistance from Glandorf, Gilbert carried on with the proposal. “I had been trying to build up my confidence by meeting girls at coffee shops and then asking them out on dates over Facebook,” said Gilbert. “It was a real shock to be thrown into a full-fledged marriage proposal.”

After his initial jitters, Gilbert settled into a rhythm and presented compelling reasons as to why McCoy and Glandorf should wed. “I told her that she could be Colt’s new number one receiver, and while this first was met with a puzzled look, she seemed to be genuinely intrigued by the sentiment.”

After stumbling through the proposal, Glandorf accepted the ring, marking the biggest victory for UT football in two weeks. Gilbert, fresh off the heels of his first collegiate victory, is also excited about the future relationship possibilities that lay before him. “After proposing to Colt’s girlfriend, I think I’m ready to propose to that hot TA in my psychology class. No sweat.”

Both Glandorf and McCoy were encouraged by the potential Gilbert displayed. “He’s not quite there, but I think with some seasoning he’s going to be proposing to women like an All-American quarterback,” smiled McCoy.