And then the Lord said, “Put money in that wicker basket being passed around”
Good morning, everyone. I was walking downtown yesterday when I saw an old woman sitting on the sidewalk, begging for money. We are living in difficult times; the economy is hurting and the end is no where in sight. Our church, especially, is going through a rough period. All of this reminds me of the book of Isaiah, verse 40:31: “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well…as long as you put a relatively large sum of money in that basket being passed around.”
Powerful words, especially in this time of great need where that wicker basket that you, in the third row, have in your hand right now is particularly empty and in need of the money in your wallet.
This church is a pillar in the community and it relies on your generosity. Much like our lord Jesus taught us, there is never bad time throw the chapel a bill or two.
Give what you can. One could possibly dictate what they can give based on how nice of a car they own. For example, it could be considered somewhat unsavory to donate only two dollars if one drove a fully-loaded Cadillac Escalade, Mr. Thomas.
Times are tough, especially for those that took the over in the Memphis Grizzlies game the day before Allen Iverson decided to ditch the team.
I think that it’s always comforting to remember that we are a community; a community of people who support each other, even a pastor who may be a little down on his luck after a bad day betting the churches money at the tracks.
The bottom line is this: We are here for each other. Remember the 10th commandment; “Do not covet thy neighbors possessions, and if thy neighbor happens to be a pastor who literally has no money left in his bank account, throw him a bone.”
And let us not forget the implied 11th-commandment: Thou shalt make checks out to St. Michael’s Accounting Department. One cannot seek his kingdom if their church is foreclosed due to failure to pay rent.
Despite these dire times, it’s always possible to find a silver lining—like food. Let us recall that ater Jesus fasted for 40 days and 40 nights in the desert, he went back to his disciples and organized a pancake breakfast, which will be held in the Franklin Center immediately after mass. We would appreciate help setting up chairs…said the Lord.
In addition, let us pray that the Cleveland Browns see through this troubled time and compete for a Wild Card spot in the AFC. Only our combined faith can overcome the 600-1 odds.
Search For More Funny

- At least your Prius will be fuel efficient and environmentally friendly while it’s rapidly accelerating through the streets killing people.
- We’ll take this opportunity to jinx our basketball team. We’re calling it: UT Basketball National Championship 2010!
- That douchebag in the study room still thinks everyone loves listening to him play piano.
- Congratulations to Jordan Shipley for finally earning enough credits to graduate!
- Doppelganger week was a remarkable study in the vast divide between how beautiful you think you are versus how average you actually look in real life. Yes, I’m specifically referring
to you. - Thanks, UT Safety alert, but I don’t need an auxiliary reason to run screaming from the RLM.
- When there’s beer in the basement, frat guys stand adjacent.
- Realizing that he only has a few short months left in office, SG President Liam O’Rourke will use his authority to create an even larger cardboard cutout of himself in the Co-Op.
- As long as you maintain your proud tradition of attractive young women in athletic shorts, you can lose as many bowl games as you like, UT.
- Students anxious to see J.D. Salinger’s last essays in the Harry Ransom Center will be disappointed to find that they’re just Animorphs fan fictions.
- HEY GUYS SERIOUSLY COME USE THE LIBERAL ARTS WRITING CENTER IT’S SUPER HELPFUL I’M SERIOUS!!!!!
- Trust me bro, with every second of awkward eye contact on the bus, you’re winning her heart.
- Inside jokes will increase 22% over the next semester. Ain’t that right, Tony? Yyyyeah.
- If you thought you could just sleep through every lecture this semester and squeak by with an A, you were right. High-five.
- Turns out the study abroad assistant didn’t have an accent; that was a speech impediment. You did a funny impression, though.
- Your success in a Pass/Fail is merely dependent on whether you plan to get stoned all semester and eat Doritos in class or get stoned all semester and eat Doritos at home.
- It wasn’t very becoming of Kansas State to chant “We Own Texas!” after they beat us. At least we had the class to refrain from chanting “We Own Indoor Plumbing!” in response.
- Everyone on campus let out a commemorative “Ah fuck!” as the twelfth day of classes whizzed by once again.








