You know, I never thought of it like that before. Normally, most things make sense to me, but every now and then I find something that I have trouble wrapping my mind around. That’s why I come to you for help. I was struggling with this concept for my philosophy class, but then you explained how it parallels a 7th-century trebuchet.

That's when my mind became empty.

It was at that exact moment when I realized that I have absolutely no clue what you’re talking about. I totally don’t get it now.

I usually don’t have too much trouble understanding things. Kant’s theories were a piece of cake. But it was at the moment you told me how Nietzsche’s ideas relate to a boa constrictor strangling its prey that I lost faith in my ability to comprehend anything ever again.

Has anybody ever told you how good you are at turning complex theories into complete nonsense?

I want to get back to what you were saying about The Stranger by Albert Camus. So, you’re saying that the main character is like a blind King Henry VII, that his best friend is acting like he’s a tree without bark, and that the love interest is like a bit of volcanic rock in the Pacific Ocean?

Ok, I think I might be starting to…nope. That makes no sense to me. My brain feels numb.

Learning from you is like…something. It’s like something really difficult. Something that feels kind of pointless. It’s like something that makes me want to throw this book into the wall and then vomit.

Plus, nobody is better than you at seeing the similarities between something you’re trying to teach and something I have no understanding of. Remember that one time when you showed me how a game of cricket and the first Russian Revolution are practically the same thing? How about when you showed me how Italian is just like a vanilla latte? We have a long history of you completely undermining my propensity to understand things.

Can I be candid with you for a second? Sometimes when I talk to you, I feel as though I might have a learning disorder. I wish I could understand the things you say to me...I really do. But whenever you start talking I become mentally challenged. Could you start over?