AKRON—Local tire manufacturer Treadwell Wheels observed what company President Alan Gainesboro is calling its first official “Bring Your Kid and Make Them Work” day last week in order to fulfill labor needs after a string of layoffs within the company.
The event is an adaptation of the traditional “Take Your Daughter to Work” day, which was originally observed by the company on the third Wednesday of April. However, the company’s recent labor issues have forced the children of employees to stamp time-cards and work up to twelve hours at the office.

“We used to have this nifty tour where visiting children got to see Research and Development, enjoy craft time, and even eat a slice of cookie cake,” explained systems analyst Jeff Harden as he greeted the new 12-year-old security guard, Johnny Vasquez. “But when George in the sales department got laid off last quarter, we decided that we could give kids a real-life education on how to take part in the work force.”

“And also get some free labor,” added Vasquez.

Parents participating in the program are eager for the opportunity to introduce their little workers to the tire industry, combining both hands-on job experience and quality family time.

“Junior finally gets to see how Daddy pays for the colorful breakfast cereal he enjoys so much, and since he is already on the health insurance plan, it really helps the company’s bottom line,” said Jordan Bishop from Marketing as he showed his son Brian, 8, how to visually inspect for splicing imperfections and why he should not put screwdrivers in his mouth.

“Mommy says that my little hands are perfect for machine calibration,” reported new child employee Patricia Swells. “But I will be in soooooooo much trouble if I don’t fix that defect on the rubber prototype before 5:00.”

While most employees have embraced the new holiday as another chance to interact with their kids, the company has faced nationwide scrutiny for exploiting child labor. Treadwell Wheels have denied all allegations, and claim that the special holiday does nothing but educate children on how to be proficient tire factory employees.

“We wanted to avoid outsourcing to other countries, and as far as cheap labor is concerned, it doesn’t get any better than hiring your own kids,” explained sales manager Tom Davis as he showed his son how to refill the water cooler. “Having a 6-year-old who just wet his pants as your coworker is much better than having to deal with those know-it-all college interns,” added Davis.

The young professionals seem upbeat and optimistic about their new employment opportunity. “It’s really easy,” claimed nine-year old Travis Jacobs. “It’s a lot easier than convincing [Mr. Jacobs] to let me stay up and play video games. Plus, instead of going to school, I get to play with big machines.”

Vacation days and health benefits have not yet been provided for the new employees, but the company has reportedly been in talks to begin providing lollipops-and-a-half for every hour of overtime.