News

BRIEFS

November 2017 HOUSTON—Rapper and entertainer Pitbull has officially entered NASA training with the intention of becoming an astronaut... more
November 2017 OAKLAND—“What a great day to be a cop,” thought Oakland police officer Anthony Watts after busting approximately six... more
November 2017 ROUND ROCK—Local couple Jessica and Jack Clay are celebrating two years of beautiful compromise this week. When asked... more

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AROUND CAMPUS

October 2009 • I shall choose trick! En garde, you candy hoarding fiend! • I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is a non-... more
September 2009 • No matter how long you stare, you won’t know if that Dasani bottle in your fridge is filled apple juice or piss until... more

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SPORTS

March 2011 DETROIT—Sagging attendance figures at The Palace at Auburn Hills over the past few seasons has prompted Pistons owner... more
March 2011 WASHINGTON D.C.—Citing the remarkable accuracy of picks in the NCAA Men’s Basketball tournament as evidence of a “... more
March 2011 INDIANAPOLIS—Following an exhaustive ten year investigation, the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA)... more

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OPINION

March 2013 I’m a single, working mom. I cook. I clean. I’m up 24 hours a day making sure I stay tilted at precisely a 23-degree... more
March 2013 I know that living back in the old day must have sucked, since people had to deal with the Bubonic Plague, Inquisitions... more
March 2013 MILWAUKEE – I don’t know if it is just because of these crazy times we’re living in, but picking up women is a lot... more

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