News

BRIEFS

December 2017 WASHINGTON D.C. – A report released Saturday by White House staff indicates that Barron Trump has again been found... more
December 2017 AUSTIN — A recent financial report has revealed that Dobie Twenty21’s management is slowly but surely renting more and... more
December 2017 DALLAS — Desperate to keep his two sons visiting from college engaged, area dad Mark Wheeler decided to order a bottle... more

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AROUND CAMPUS

October 2009 • I shall choose trick! En garde, you candy hoarding fiend! • I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is a non-... more
September 2009 • No matter how long you stare, you won’t know if that Dasani bottle in your fridge is filled apple juice or piss until... more

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SPORTS

March 2011 DETROIT—Sagging attendance figures at The Palace at Auburn Hills over the past few seasons has prompted Pistons owner... more
March 2011 WASHINGTON D.C.—Citing the remarkable accuracy of picks in the NCAA Men’s Basketball tournament as evidence of a “... more
March 2011 INDIANAPOLIS—Following an exhaustive ten year investigation, the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA)... more

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OPINION

March 2013 I’m a single, working mom. I cook. I clean. I’m up 24 hours a day making sure I stay tilted at precisely a 23-degree... more
March 2013 I know that living back in the old day must have sucked, since people had to deal with the Bubonic Plague, Inquisitions... more
March 2013 MILWAUKEE – I don’t know if it is just because of these crazy times we’re living in, but picking up women is a lot... more

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