BOISE, ID—Smiling wide in the middle of a bustling Chuck E. Cheese, local 9-year-old Jessie Porcupine posed for pictures with her only birthday party guest this year: Anxiety. "Third grade is different—it's not just finger painting and nose picking like before. I'm expected to know multiplication and be a Girl Scout at the same time," stammered Porcupine while chewing on her thumbnail. "This is part of the transition to maturity, but I'm grateful I don't have to do this alone. I have my pal, Anxiety, by my side." As of press time, Despair and Self-Destructive Behavior reportedly arrived as a sweaty-palmed Porcupine was opening her gifts.