March 2017 HOUSTON—Slowly swiveling in his office chair, 45-year-old Jeremy Halloway explained to reporters that the cute baby boy... more
March 2017 MIDLAND, TX—Showing great confusion and disappointment, local father of two Billy Preston complained about his daughter... more
March 2017 NEW YORK—Veronica Palmer, the most beautiful girl in the room 90% of the time, caught her colleagues off guard when her... more



February 2015 • I don’t sleep because sleep is the nephew of comas • Excuse me, sommelier. What wine pairs best with this Jack in the... more
February 2015 • The only thing I can trust anymore is my mama’s rigatoni • I’m going to be the best man at your funeral • Not even... more
October 2014 • I love Blink-182, but I’m not gonna pierce my lip about it • Make like a pioneer and settle for me • In 20 years,... more
October 2014 • I can’t wait to have the talk with your kids • Boy, I sure hope Kid Rock has somewhere to stay during the apocalypse... more



January 2014 by: Nick Mehendale AUSTIN – In the wake of Mack Brown’s departure from the Longhorn football program, the University... more
October 2013 GLENDALE, AZ—Sophia Jones, girlfriend of the New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, alerted the press earlier... more
March 2013 Washington D.C. – Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III is expected to open the 2013 season despite being in a... more



October 2014 by Raven-Symoné, Thresher of the Waves Let’s get one thing perfectly clear. I am more than what others may call me.... more
April 2014 by: Jason Hill, Dental hygienist Upon being sworn into office, Barack Obama was questioned by many on the far right in... more
April 2014 by: Marking Luther King Jr., scared 5 year-old I had a scary dream. The dream was weird because the world didn’t look... more