Interview with Nikki Glaser

Nikki Glaser, famed comedienne and the former hostess of Comedy Central’s Not Safe, has dominated the comedy world in recent years, as evidenced through twenty appearances on @midnight and a spot on the Roast of Rob Lowe. The folks at the Travesty sat down with Nikki during Austin’s Moontower Comedy Festival to discuss topics of great importance:

Joe Morris: We’ve seen you on Comedy Central with Not Safe and the Rob Lowe roast and all that, but what are you up to now?

Nikki Glaser: I do a radio show on Comedy Central Radio called You Up? that’s on Monday through Thursday from 10-12.

JM: Have you ever seen [the critically acclaimed] Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa?

NG: I haven’t. I haven’t seen any [BET Comedy Awards nominated] Madagascar films.

JM: Well, you might not be able to answer my follow-up question, but I can still ask you.

NG: Ok, go ahead.

JM: If you could go to anywhere in Africa, where would you go and why?

NG: I think I could probably answer that without having seen [Ben Stiller’s definitive magnum opus] Madagascar. I’d probably go on a safari because animals aren’t going to be around that much longer, so I’d like to see some animals that are going to go extinct soon.

JM: So speaking of that Rob Lowe roast you were on, would you ever cohost a show with Ann Coulter in the future, just so you’d never run out of joke material?

NG: No. I would never because she doesn’t seem like a really nice person, and I don’t want to listen to her. I wouldn’t want to work with her. Doing a show with someone, you have to work with them.

JM: So now that you’re famous, is your family asking you for money all the time?

NG: No. I give them money, but they don’t ask for it. That’s the only reason I enjoy getting more money, so that I can give my family more money and they can live more comfortably.

JM: You got in trouble earlier this month for tweeting that Don Jr., or anyone, shouldn’t have five kids.

NG: Yeah, that was weird. I don’t think people should be having five kids.

JM: So is there anything else you wish Don Jr. wasn’t allowed to have, aside from a happy marriage or custody of his kids?

NG: No he should keep his kids, but I still feel like that’s too many kids. Don’t you feel that’s too many kids?

JM: Yeah, for sure. But imagine being that fifth kid and seeing that tweet.

NG: I don't think just five kids is too many. I just think three is. So Don Jr.'s kids #3-5 should all feel offended by my tweet. Not just number five. I should have been more clear.

JM: Should Barron Trump feel saddened by your tweet too, since he's also the fifth child?

NG: I think Barron Trump should be more sad that his dad is Donald Trump. He’s going to get bullied anyway.

JM: Hey, as long as it’s not cyber-bullying.

NG: Yeah, as long as it’s in-person bullying that’s cool. Online bullying would be too cruel. Have some balls if you’re going to bully me, none of that pussy bullying shit.

JM: This is going to look great in print. So, moving on now, I’ve done the math, and you’re the 8x winner of @midnight. What was it like being involved with a show that was successful enough to make it out of the pilot season?

NG: It feels great to ever be on a show at all, but that one went for a really long time. And that show helped me out a lot. It’s hard to make TV that people actually watch, so it was fun. You’ve got to write a lot of jokes, but when you shot the show, it was really fun.

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