Area Man Wasn’t Trying To Wear Ugly Christmas Sweater

AUSTIN — Area man Derrick Nichols has been sickened by the comments he’s received on campus today regarding his grandmother’s hand knit sweater. This tragic misinterpretation was brought to his attention at 5:00 p.m., when he heard his friend categorize his cherished sweater as an “ugly Christmas sweater.” “My grandmother knitted each reindeer into the sweater, and look at the hooves, they’re just so cute!” said Nichols when showing off his grandmother’s unholy Christmas creation. “I thought people were admiring the craftsmanship when they shouted ‘Jesus Christ’ and ‘you’re shitting me’ upon seeing Gram Gram’s sweater.” At press time, Nichols was seen putting on a Santa hat that his aunt crocheted.


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