Report: 87% of American Food Waste Caused by Crumbs From Nature Valley Bars

EVANSTON, IL—After years of painstaking study, researchers from Northwestern University announced Tuesday that a great majority of American food waste comes as a result of the little crumbs that inevitably fall from every Nature Valley bar. "We thought that the thousands of meals thrown away by restaurants and grocery stores would be the biggest contributor, but they pale in comparison to those pesky little morsels,” said food expert Dr. Rick Moran, who documented the mountains of crumbs overcrowding America’s landfills. “It’s amazing how many hungry children could be fed if the oats and honey weren’t so damn crumbly.” At press time, the Department of Education was in talks to cut down on waste by repurposing the crumbs as reduced price lunches for elementary schools.
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