Old friend getting a little too serious about catching up sometime

During a chance encounter with a past acquaintance from middle school, Stephanie Briggs was highly distressed to observe her former classmate grow more and more committed to Briggs’ offhanded suggestion to grab brunch sometime. “I was pretending I hadn’t seen her,” explained Briggs, who had reportedly been “minding her business” in the towel aisle of Target when she felt a tap on her shoulder. “Being forced to interact with her once was bad enough—there’s no way in hell I could make it through an entire meal.” At press time, Briggs was reportedly spotted applying for Canadian citizenship.
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