SAN ANTONIO—Feeling uninhibited enough to tell his gravest secret, inebriated party-goer, Leslie Schubert, reportedly just wants you to know. “Listen, I was in the war, the one in Afghanistan, I don’t know if it’s been named yet,” whispered Schubert loudly, spewing words and foam all over his unwilling confidante. “Probably called the Afghanistan War. There were a lot of innocent people there, good dudes. One of them did my laundry, separated it into colors and whites.” Schubert allegedly went on to describe another man who would fold his clothes with almost no crease and may have hinted at a bombing before his words became too slurred to understand.