Baby forgot to brush teeth again

PASADENA—Reports have confirmed today that local infant and idiot Jonas Garcia has once again forgotten to brush his teeth, as if he were some sort of pirate nomad straight out of the Paleolithic Age. “We have tried for months to instill in him the Garcia family values, but little Jonas just keeps on defying us,” bawled a tearful Ursula Garcia in between consistent efforts to keep her son from doing something stupid like putting his finger in an electrical socket. “I just hope he grows up soon so that I can stop having to watch this absolute train wreck every damn day. I can only take so much before I inevitably dive into alcoholism.” At press time, young Jonas was exhibiting signs of distress after attempting to swallow a Legends of Chima LEGO.


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