Wishing well almost saved up enough to pay off student loans

AUSTIN—In the face of rising premiums, a local wishing well has almost saved up enough money to pay off its accumulated student debt. When asked for money management advice, the well replied, "Honestly? Just do what I did. Have people literally throw money at you, day after day, for years and years, until you can finally shrug off the oppressive chains of debt." After a brief pause, the wishing well shrugged its pagoda and noted, "What– were you expecting me to tell you to get a job? Come on. I'm a history major." The wishing well was later seen asking a passing homeless man if he could spare a dime.
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