Going against the grain made more difficult by powerful grain lobby

BISMARCK, ND—Due to the recent escalation in anti-grain and wheat sentiment, lobbyists working for the Grains Council are in the midst of a sweeping national publicity campaign. “Grains have been the backbone of this country since its birth. Deviating from this tried and true principle is a betrayal to this great nation and its founding fathers,” explained the president of the Grains Council during his speech at a fundraiser, the gift bags from which reportedly contained approximately 25 loose dinner rolls. “I mean, the whole gluten free thing, that stuff just doesn’t taste right. Why would you go for fake bread when you can have the real deal? We all know ‘Celiac disease’ is just another one of the liberal media’s inventions.” As of press time, grain lobbyists had reportedly succeeded in pushing a bill to the senate floor regarding a federally funded pro-bread program
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