Bitter hag refuses to enjoy La La Land

HOUSTON—Despite rave reviews from critics and the enthusiastic feedback of her friends, local harpy Allison O’Conor failed to enjoy the movie La La Land upon seeing it last Saturday. “I thought it was just okay. I don’t get all the hype,” reported the sour-faced shrew as she left the theater, unimpressed. “I liked Crazy Stupid Love better. Now that’s a movie.” The musical, described as “captivating” by the New York Times and “cute” by Allison’s mother, simply could not crack the heart of this callous, withered crone.
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