Before tomorrow’s inauguration of Donald Trump as our 45th president, the Texas Travesty’s political analysts share their five predictions for the proceedings.
• Melania will open her eyes for a total of one minute
• Students across the country are glad to have another excuse to walk out of class
• Life-size CGI Pepe the Frog dances around the pope as he swears in Trump
• Afterparty at cocaine replica of Trump Tower
• Everyone is sweaty