Around Campus November 2014

• I love Blink-182, but I’m not gonna pierce my lip about it
• Make like a pioneer and settle for me • In 20 years, they’ll be saying Jason Derulo instead of Bloody Mary
• “Incest” slightly rearranged is “nicest” • I’m not a coffee person, I’m a ranch dressing person
• The best defense is a good moat
• Schindler, Angie, and Craig could make some amazing lists together
• Auto-tune is not a choice; T-Pain was born that way
• Try not to cry in my macaroni, Dad
• I dream about drinking Mocha Frappuccinos with you while our baby sits screaming in the middle of the Walmart hunting gear aisle
• I’ve only cried during The Notebook when my grandfather died of a stroke in the middle of the movie
• Let’s fork and then spoon after
• I’m going to rip you a new one right after I sew up your old one
• You know it’s going to be a good day when your Bible matches your outfit!
• I’m scared of the marketing consultant you’ve become
• He’s a sadist but his masochism makes him tolerable
• I can only talk dirty if I do it through a Louis Armstrong impression
• Don’t be a hoe, be THE hoe
• Does this vibrator have bluetooth capabilities?
• I want them to make a Kama Sutra where both of the models are Vladimir Putin
• I never leave the house without my baby teeth
• Did you know Andrew Wilson is the third Owen Wilson Brother?


September 9, 2009 • No matter how long you stare, you won’t know if that Dasani bottle in your fridge is filled apple juice or piss until... more
October 10, 2009 • I shall choose trick! En garde, you candy hoarding fiend! • I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is a non-... more
March 3, 2010 • Make sure to grab a free condom in the West Mall; the one in your wallet from two years ago is expiring soon. • White... more
April 4, 2010 • We should all demonstrate our dedication to green initiatives the same way UT does: by artificially re-sodding the... more