Around Campus September 2011

•We mixed rum with a Pepsi Throwback. Now, it’s a Pepsi THROWED-BACK. #36mafia

• What do you mean I can’t refer to them as “the help”?


• You think gay chicken is uncomfortable? Wait until you play straight cock.

• Construction workers will complain about the amount of school everywhere.

• So you want to be a baller? A shot-caller? Well you can’t be both a player and a ref, so pick one.

• Freshmen looking to impress their professors will continue to substitute “for” for “because” for it’s the only way they know how.

• I’d feel a lot cleaner if using these automatic soap dispensers looked less like a money shot.

• Bitches ain’t shit; rather, they’re complex individuals worthy of respect.

• Another Subway is opening up! Apparently five Subways in the campus area aren’t enough to cure your obesity.

• I’m about to study anatomy. Get it? I want to fuck you.

• A sexy club-goer wants to know why everyone is grabbing them and saying “hey.”

• iDon’t think that iCare about this product.

• Not sure what’s weirder, my roommate sleeping with his clothes off or me sleeping with his clothes on.

• Your face is fine, you just need to throw a bag over that personality.

• What do you mean Spike Jonze is white?

• This vomit tastes a lot like my dignity.

• A pro-sodomy march? Now there’s an idea everybody can get behind!

•UT is in trouble for finally being in possession.

• Who brain farted? It smells awful.

• “Excuse me, would you like to learn how to leverage your business on Tweeter?

• Don’t worry, I’m good to drive. I only feel it in my head.

• Your friend who always starts shit will try eating more fiber.


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October 10, 2009 • I shall choose trick! En garde, you candy hoarding fiend! • I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is a non-... more
March 3, 2010 • Make sure to grab a free condom in the West Mall; the one in your wallet from two years ago is expiring soon. • White... more
April 4, 2010 • We should all demonstrate our dedication to green initiatives the same way UT does: by artificially re-sodding the... more