Around Campus February 2012

• I’m a stress vegetarian.

• Your roommate’s beta fish becomes the first of his kind to receive too much attention.

• OH SHIT! I’ve had WinRaR on my computer for more than 40 days! What if they find out?!

• Leslie AND the Wendy’s guy moved away. They plan to start an entire family for RTF majors to film patronizing documentaries about.

• The campus smoking ban will decrease campus sexiness by 47%.

• Dude, let’s go play cakeball.

• On a recent trip to her date’s bathroom, environmentalist Terri Johnson will be torn between masking poop sounds and wasting water.

• Well, my mom found UTexas memes.

• Remember Greeks, high schoolers are discouraged from attending Round-Up weekend. So please discourage them with bright colors, free beer, and Wiz Khalifa.

Chingo Bling will be visiting campus to give a speech. That’s funny, right?

UT has made camping on campus illegal. Sorry, Xzibit.

• I’m craving southwestern-style chicken eggrolls. Do you want to eat out or in?

• Austin is the live music capital of the world. So basically, Austin is the Beijing of live music.

• Even if they sold clitoris lollipops, its not like guys could ever find them.

• I love sharing Google Docs because watching someone type makes me feel like I’m in So Weird.

• But I’m 21 by credit hours!

• After 500 episodes, Bart Simpson doesn’t look a day over season 7.

• Those business majors always wanna starch shit.

Happy birthday! Make love by cake candlelight, fatty.

• Youyous are predictably not as popular as memes.

• 5-year-old Tommy Patel attempts to conceals his crayon error by smudging another color over it.

• You can’t call yourself a physicist. That’s a title you earn. Like knighthood.

• A lonely Econ major will find optimization of self interest with ‘visible hand’

• I don’t give a shit what they put in Taco Bell meat until I take a shit.


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