December 2017 MCDONALD LAND — After four long decades of trying to apprehend the notorious criminal, Detective Little Mac spent... more
December 2017 AUSTIN — Area man Derrick Nichols has been sickened by the comments he’s received on campus today regarding his... more
December 2017 WASHINGTON — An anonymous source informed select press members of President Donald J. Trump’s plan to divert attention... more
December 2017 AUSTIN — Over the last several months, local ne'er-do-well Rainn Stains has been developing an innovative strategy that... more
December 2017 OSLO, NORWAY — Celebrators of our Christ’s birth, rejoice! For our nation’s holiday festivities and practices shall no... more
December 2017 MOUSEKETAWNY — Researchers at the Get The Bastard Company© have developed a less humane version of the classic... more
December 2017 CALABASAS, CA — 12 years after the release of “You're Beautiful,” his smash hit love song dedicated to an unknown... more
December 2017 HOLLYWOOD — America’s favorite cyborg, Tobey Maguire, received every single male award during the 2018 Oscars,... more
December 2017 HALIFAX, NOVA SCOTIA — Once again, dominating all competition that the 21st century has to offer, the affable capital... more