Ghostbusters finally getting long-awaited all male reboot

HOLLYWOOD, CA—In a press release announcing a sequel to the 2016 smash-hit Ghostbusters, Columbia Pictures has proudly revealed that, in order to grant a voice to a much-marginalized segment of American society, the 2018 mega-blockbuster Ghostbusters II: Ronald Reagan Returns From Hell features an all male cast–the first of its kind–in what has been hailed as a revolutionary step forward. “It’s a dream come true for me to direct this ground-breaking film; finally, somebody in a big-time movie will look just like me, and that will be paramount for inspiring the young guys watching in theaters,” declared director Peter Jackson while talking over his female press secretary who had been trying to introduce him for the past 20 minutes. “To maximize the impact of this move, we’re only hiring men for on-screen roles: all the ghosts are men; all the terrified extras are men; all the Gabonese Air Force troops sent in to initially try and contain the accursed specters are men; and, lastly, the only viewers of this movie are men.” At press time, Warner Bros. has announced that it will make a Looney Tunes: Back in Action remake for women, complete with no fight scenes and a much lower volume level to accommodate the delicate senses of its target audience.