“Music is my only escape," says man who also owns a gun

MARIETTA, OH—Local resident Mason Melloul recently quoted Bob Marley’s famous words, “one good thing about music [is that] when it hits you, you feel no pain,” not realizing that a 9mm Browning Long military grade centrefire semi-rimmed pistol cartridge can do the same. Mason mused while thumbing through Janis Joplin vinyl that “music is my only escape,” without taking notice of his nightstand, which holds an unused recoil operated single-action trigger 2014 9mm Luger with a glass-filled nylon frame and seven round magazine, six more than he would need. Within a 30 feet radius of the naïve escapist were a fork, light socket, toaster, bathtub, collection of kitchen knives, 9mm pistol, hunting rifle, coil of rope, prescription pill bottle, bleach, and a lighter. At press time, Mason was contemplating de-stressing by sipping jasmine green tea while listening to silky smooth Al Greene instead of unloading the heater mere arms-lengths away into the back of his throat.